A VERY AIKIDO CHRISTMAS
While Aikido is not just for Christmas, it can certainly be of use.
I don’t mean for physically throwing Uncle Bert across the room when he repeats the same bad jokes as every year.
Or even for defending yourself in the street after closing time.
(Though it could be quite useful then).
Seasonal duress
Most of us hopefully will not face physical attacks during the holidays, but we may well find ourselves under duress of a different kind.
Seasonal spirit or no, families can be a tad difficult to endure.
But Aikido can help here too. After all, the principles of Aikido are for daily life. As with a physical Aikido technique, there are three stages to dealing with non-physical attacks.
Dealing with Christmas attacks
Here’s one suggestion – your Christmas present from the Association of Ki Aikido. Feel free to unwrap it now. It goes like this:
First, recognise that you’re under attack.
That just means that you feel destabilised in some way. A comment, joke, criticism, aside, might not have been intended as an attack, but that’s irrelevant. If something makes you feel discomforted, then for Aikido purposes consider it an attack
Second, get centred.
Don’t respond immediately. Or run away immediately. Take a breath or two. Relax your body. Unclench those fists. Unrelaxed, you’ll just make things worse. But if you’re relaxed, as with a physical attack, you make it more difficult for your attacker to use their force against you.
Sensei Luke Archer says that you should consider every such attack in a positive spirit. Welcome it. Think of Berts’ jokes or Grandma’s comments about your clothes as an “opportunity to practise.” That’s a high bar. Not everyone can be so open. But it’s a good one to aim for.
Third, respond openly, not defensively.
This is easier said than done. The trick is to avoid “JADE” – as Sensei Archer calls it: Don’t Justify, Argue, Defend or Excuse. Instead, try to turn it into a conversation.
My favourite response is: “What would you prefer?” It has to be said in a spirit of interest. Not snarled in a counter-attacking way.
It always amazes me how those four simple words, said simply, can defuse many difficult situations and wrong-foot would-be attackers.
Try it. You too may be surprised.
Other open responses might be “What makes you say that?” or “Thank you for your advice.”
Like in physical Aikido, no technique works in every situation. But trying them out can be great fun.
Have a great seasonal break and a happy and safe New Year.
And tell me your favourite ways of dealing with Christmas stress – and whether you have a chance to practise any of the above.