De-escalate conflict in just 12 words

Man and woman having an argument - How NOT to de-escalate conflict in just 12 words!


By Luke Archer

How often do you notice when tension appears in an exchange? Both physical and verbal. Indeed, many physical attacks begin verbally.

Aikido practitioners become keenly aware of this type of energy shift, a lucid reminder that it’s time to practise!

Next time you feel a conversation becoming heated, take heed, take a deep breath and say these words: “Right now, we need to listen to each other. I’ll listen first.

That’s all you’ll need to say, but there is one more thing you’ll need to do for it to work – you need to put your own views aside for a moment so that you can truly listen!

Read to the bottom of this article for another move that’ll de-escalate even more.

Don’t miss April Verbal Aikido workshops in London

Whether it’s an evening introductory workshop on Friday April 19th or the practical & interactive two-day training on the weekend of April 20th & 21st (or both!), you’ll come out with highly-effective de-escalation skills and the confidence to handle conflict in everyday life!

Places are limited for both events – Sign up now!

April 19th – VA Introductory Evening in London £10.00 Book now
April 20 & 21 – VA 2-day intensive workshop in London £239.00
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Develop your reflexes to de-escalate conflict!

There’s never a long-term quick fix for conflict, however the Verbal Aikido online dojo is a unique and highly-effective means to develop the reflexes you need to protect all involved when conflict arises, so that the skills are there when you need them most!

If you’ve managed to use the 12-word de-escalation technique given above, make sure you get yourself into that all-essential listening posture. Try the following VA move: “How much time do you need me to listen?”.

If you respect your partner’s request (and not just patiently wait for them to finish speaking), you’ll soon realize how you contribute directly to a de-escalation by giving them an opportunity to feel understood.

Indeed, it’s not just a question of repeating a clever sentence or two. Returning rapidly to a centred posture, listening like a satellite dish, noticing energy shifts, openings and connections – that all takes practice – and that’s the “Art of Peace” that Aikido practitioners incorporate in their daily communication. It all begins at the dojo – have a free trial of Verbal Aikido online – or come to the Hampstead dojo for a free trial lesson of Ki Aikido.


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